In the first awakening

It has often surprised me, in my contact with people, how many of them already feel reluctant when awakening in the morning. Reluctance to the life that is waiting for them…

In the morning, when awakening, you wake up in the dream of this reality. It’s a moment in which infinite consciousness centres in a body, in a moment in time. A curious phenomenon. The fact that this causes problems isn’t because this reality is so grisly, but because a mechanism activates that we are usually not aware of. Let me illustrate this with an anecdote…

Once, when I was about seventeen, I did an NLP course. On one of those nights I am invited to step forward as part of a demonstration. With me also another woman was invited to do the same. Perhaps deliberately, both the youngest of the bunch and the oldest of the group, me, where invited. The teacher asked me:

“What is the first thing you are aware of when you wake up?” I take any memory of getting up in my mind and I answer:
“I’m aware of the room that I am in…and my body.” This realisation was a revelation for me. She nods.
“And what is going through your mind then?” It’s not that difficult to answer.
“Then I think: Aaah! It’s a new day! What will I do today?” I feel the joy that comes with it, there is a whole range of adventurous opportunities waiting for me.
Then she asks the same question to the older woman, and she answers:
“I stretch out and think: Oh no, it’s a new day already? I turn around one more time … and then I turn around again.”
I am dumbfounded by this extreme difference. I remember this incident well, because this woman was my mother. And … because I woke up years later in the same way… I also didn’t want to wake up, because I was in a life where I didn’t feel at home. A life full of obligations, boring and trapped in a place where I didn’t want to be. I saw no openings, simply because I was too afraid to take initiatives, simply because they didn’t occur to me. In my mind I saw my boring life pass with all obstacles on the road that prevented me to be happy. And in response to all those thoughts I got feelings of resistance.

When I wake up in the morning, I first become aware of the room that I’m in,
and the fact that I have a body. Then I becomes an AM … I am.

At one point I realised that something preceded those thoughts… A crucial discovery, namely: Something in me wants to give a valuation on this point. A mechanism that labels.

But valuations are never about this moment right now! Valuations are always about what was or is about to come, even though this is only five minutes away from the NOW.
And thus I found … When I wake up the morning, I become aware of the first room where I lie, and the fact that I have a body. Then I receive becomes an AM… I am. And then a mechanism comes into motion that determines HOW I am… WHAT I am … when, where and who I am. But especially also how, what, when, where and who I WANT and DON’T WANT to be. It’s such a clever, well-known mechanism that you totally overlook. Most people loose themselves in the content and therefore the misery they find themselves in.
Then I discovered that I simply refused the temptation to join in this valuation and then I could just BE. With my BEING without valuation all the misery left. It was since then that I woke up again up in bliss, this time in ‘blankness’ about what the day would bring.

And then comes the mechanism in motion that determines HOW I am,
W
HAT I am…when, where and who I am.
But also how, what, when, where and who I WANT TO and DON’T WANT to be.

What I see in people is that they keep searching a reason WHY they feel what they feel. And they want a response based on the level of content. But at some point it no longer revolves around content. You will not find satisfactory answers to this level. Answers lie in understanding the mechanisms that create this content!
And when you stay awake in this dream you simply have the choice to go into those mechanisms or to stay in the here and NOW. Now you can hear the birds whistle again, the pleasantness of your sheets and you can marvel at the adventure that day will bring again.

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1 thought on “In the first awakening”

  1. Helga Maiwald

    Vera, you make ‘being’ so normal and that’s beautifull. To return to yourSelf after all these astrays.
    The way you package your vision in these simpel words I find impressive.
    Thank you.

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"It has been my lifelong fascination to investigate why people say what they say and do what they do ... because it seemed so illogical"

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